Updated: Jul 20, 2018
As a kid, did you ever leap from your bedroom door and onto your bed to avoid the monsters from getting your feet?
As an adult, did you ever breakup with your partner before they could leave you? Or have you ever quit a job before your boss could fire you?
Fear of instability prevents us from taking risks. Fear of rejection prevents us from making necessary changes. Fear of loneliness prevents us from moving on in life.
We can become consumed with “what-if” scenarios and constantly worry about questions like:
Does my boss like my work?
Does she think I am competent?
Does she regret hiring me?
Does she want to fire me next week?
We are unable to focus on the positive aspects of life. We become obsessed with the worst case scenarios and begin laying the foundations of irrational situations.
Being nervous at work is normal, and actually even a sign of respect for those who view your work. But when you allow your nerves to control the situation, you become paralyzed.
Fear can hinder your engagement, retention, and listening capabilities. As they say, “stress makes us stupid.”
Not you, personally, but stress makes us forgetful as we shut down and underperform. While you are stressed about failing, you begin to fail more often-- the irony!
Another critical aspect to consider in regards to our fears is the ways in which our childhood has conditioned our thinking. If we are experiencing problems at work, it is likely that we are experiencing problems at home.
Perhaps we are obsessed with pleasing our bosses because we grew up with an overly critical parent at home. Or, perhaps we are controlling our relationships at home in defense of becoming vulnerable in a situation.
We each have our love styles which affects our relationships as adults and manifests into today’s fears. We recommend you take this 15-minute quiz on HowToLove.com to analyze your own results. We promise it will be eye-opening!
Instead of avoiding our fears, we challenge you to face your fears.
Starting today, begin each morning by writing down your fears every time they enter your mind. Then, record what you could do to prevent these fears from manifesting. Do this each day for a week. At the end of the week, review each scenario and see whether your fears actually manifested.
If you are like the majority of Emily’s patients, then you will observe that most of our fears are indeed irrational. And if any of them do come true, the consequences are nowhere near as bad as what we had predicted them to be. Many of these patients forget the key component to overcoming fears: human’s unique capability of critical problem solving in the face of adversity.
We are so happy you are taking the first steps to recognizing and overcoming your fears. If you haven’t already, please sign up to receive our “5 Habits of Happiness” as we will provide you with even more expert advice about The 4x4 Happiness Model®.
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